Can You Cope?

My Wife has gone back to the UK for a few days. Can you cope? I hear you asking. Well with 2 boys at school, playing football in the evenings and me working on the radio and at Pirates during the day let’s say its been an interesting few days. In fact it is a total military planned operation as one leaves for school just after 7am and the other doesn’t have be in until 9am. In between that I’m presenting a Radio Breakfast Show and helping in getting Pirates open for the first show on April 5th. Then one finishes at 2pm and the other at 4pm followed by homework classes and football training it’s full on. On the one hand it’s great to do some of the things I don’t normally do but on the other, we’re holding a street party for my Wife’s return. How long will it be before I get the “see I told you so!”

Last Friday we were invited to the opening of Palma Ice Bar. Now you won’t need me to tell you it’s cold but it’s a great new bar to visit in Palma as part of a day or night out. It is situated in the heart of La Lonja and takes “chill” to a whole new level.
Over 20 Tonnes of Ice has been used, harvested from the purest fresh water lakes of Norway. Naturally harvested Ice is much more translucent than artificially created ice. The bar operates at minus 7 degrees to maintain the ice and the Ice sculptures are based on iconic landmarks associated within Mallorca.
For more information go to http://www.palmaicebar.com.

Remember the Beano? Well Beano Comics asked 2,000 children to name their top rib-tickler and found the old ones were still the best ones.

The research also found 90% of kids reckon they are funnier than grown-ups, 33% picked up the best one-liners at school, 25% thought their mums told the worst jokes and 40% said their dads made them laugh the most, of course!

The poll was done to launch the Beano’s joke contest, which aims to get primary school classes to send their best gags to beano.com/jokes between April 1 and May 1.

The top 20 funniest jokes of all time, according to kids:

1. Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!

2. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus.

3. What did the policeman say to his tummy? Freeze you’re under a vest.

4. Doctor, Doctor! Help, I feel like a pair of curtains! Pull yourself together then.

5. What’s the fastest vegetable? A runner bean!

6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

7. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

8. What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer.

9. Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs? You might step in a poodle!

10. Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

11. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!

12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? No need to cry, it’s only me!

13. What happens when an egg hears a joke? It cracks up!

14. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Two-thirty!

15. What’s black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill.

16. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!

17. Doctor! Doctor! I keep seeing spinning insects! Don’t worry, there’s a bug going round.

18. What do you call a tiger at the North Pole? Lost!

19. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

20. How do footballers stay cool? They sit down next to their fans!

Can I add my own? A guy goes into a bakers and says I’d like to buy a wasp. The server says we don’t sell wasps, the guy replies why, you’ve got them in the window! I’m here all week. 

Real Mallorca’s away hoodoo continued last Friday as they threw away a 2-0 lead to draw 2-2 in the battle of the islands versus Tenerife. They now lie in 8th place, 3 points off of the play-off places. This Sunday they are at home to Elche and strong home form should hopefully see a Mallorca win. Better news for Atlético Baleares who remain on top of their group in Segunda B by 3 points after a 1-0 win against Barcelona B. Son Malferit was packed and there was still quite a few around when we turned up for my boys game later in the afternoon. They’re away in Olot this weekend and there’s 12 games left before they reach the play-offs. My two both played against Atletico Baleares last weekend who even at their level are still strong sides. My youngest was unlucky to lose 0-2 but my eldest got gubbed 6-0! A weekend off for them this weekend because of the holiday. 

Talking of which, The Day of the Balearic Islands (Día de les Illes Balears) is a local public holiday on the Balearic Islands on March 1st each year. This date commemorates when the Balearic Islands’ Statute of Autonomy came into effect on March 1, 1983. I’m all for celebrating events like this but do the kids need to be off on Thursday and Monday too? Remember they get 3 months summer holidays. Rant over!

Enjoy your long weekend!

Richie presents the Radio One Mallorca Breakfast show Monday to Friday 07.30-11.00am on 93.8fm in Mallorca and 102fm in Calvià, online at www.radioonemallorca.com on mobile through their free App for IPhone, Android, The Tunein Radio App and on the Spanish TDT TV service. If you can’t hear him on the radio then you’ll find him working at Pirates Adventure the islands number one night out and every now and again he may make an understudy appearance! 

Feel free to email him at rprior@globobalear.

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